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Quentin Tarantino; Country USA, Germany; Rating 9,1 of 10 Star; Quentin Tarantino; Adventure; release date 2009

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After fantastic Kill Bill, expectations from Tarantino"s next movie were naturally high and the wacky experiment called Death Proof did little to shake them. Inglorious Bastards are finally here (on DVD) and my impressions are mixed.
The plot is a typical Tarantinian affair - it"s laboriously long, filled with all kinds of wacky comic-book characters and seemingly so complicated that it had to be separated into "acts. Yet, in its core, the story behind it is surprisingly simple and one-linear.
Here it is: the entire Nazi high command will gather in a Parisian cinema to watch the premiere of Goering"s new propaganda movie. Two factions are planning to blow up the cinema and all the big shots in it - a group of allied commandos (the Bastards) with the help of a German movie star turned traitor and a secretly Jewish girl who owns the cinema.
Thus, in the course of this movie, we are introduced with the characters, we are shown the circumstances under which the girl gets to host the event, then we see a failed attempt of the Bastards to meet their contact and finally, the big night, where both plot threads converge. That"s pretty much it for the plot. Not exactly mind-blowing stuff.
Of course, most Tarantino"s films have generally simplistic plots, it"s the details where they shine. And this is IMO, where the biggest downfall of this movie lies.
In a nutshell, the problem is that the film takes place in Europe. During the forties.
Remember all those super-interesting slang-filled conversations and pop culture references? You know, the ones that made even the non-driving parts of Death Proof kinda sorta fun? Well, imagine all the conversations being about silent films and pop stars that had died decades before you were born. And spoken mostly in German and French. Unless you"re a European retro-art fan, you"ll spend about 2 hours out of 2:30 squinting at subtitles and sighing under your breath.
Even worse is how thematically dull all these speech scenes are. More than 90% of them involve the good guys forced into an interaction with the bad guys (usually this one creepy SS officer nicknamed "the Jew Hunter. where they desperately struggle to keep the charade going. What does the German know? Is he on to us? Uhh, the tension! Whew, he"s leaving. No wait, he"s back. etc. rinse and repeat 5 or 6 times, over about 70% of the movie time.
Neither of these two problems would be much of an issue on their own. It"s Tarantino, for gods sake, great convos is what he does the best. However, combined, they do tend to dull the interest, especially during the second part of the movie.
The action and gore scenes are excellently produced (easily on level with Kill Bill) but they do little to shake things up as there"s so little of them. Actually, now that I think about it, the film doesn"t have even ONE REAL HONEST ACTION SCENE. All the shooting is either mutually destructive or one-sided, while the gore is inflicted mostly on helpless victims. A real shame, considering how good those few bits we"ve seen are.
That said, the characters, the back-stories and all the little touches and details are pure Tarantino, which is to say, they"re excellent! Brad Pitt did kind of crappy job, but everyone else were very good, especially the aforementioned creepy nazi.
The best thing is the ending (and here we go neck deep into the SPOILER territory. Remember all those WWII movies where the good guys make all these plans to kill Hitler and stop the war, but you sort of know they"ll somehow screw up in the end? Well forget about that crap here. Inglorious Bastards ends up wading heavily into the alternate universe territory, with a cathartic release of lead, fire and all sorts of other deadly things into Hitler and his pals. Pretty sweet ending and something we"ve seen too rarely (or never? in WWII movies.
Overall, not the worst Tarantino"s effort, but nowhere near the best.

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1. You LOVE gore at every turn. Like nothing from the previous movies matches this.
2. You get lucky and your favorite hero is one of the few that are lucky and don"t die a quick on screen death. Seriously, I don"t get the love for this movie. It feels like it"s the Snyder fans that love his dark and edgy DC movies, oh and Superman. And for you comic fans this didn"t follow any comic story at all. It"s absolute trash. Something tells me people would be singing a different tune if the ending didn"t happen.

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Runtime - 155 minutes. 2000. Country - Malta. Ridley Scott. writer - David Franzoni, John Logan. Star - Joaquin Phoenix

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Release Year=2019 / 282037 votes / duration=209minute / Rating=8,1 / 10 Stars / Actors=Harvey Keitel /

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A 58-year-old meat delivery driver with no pals and a bad back besties with an aged local mobster and gives up the day job to do mobster stuff.
The story is retold Ray Liotta style by his son in an old people"s home.
The film starts off well enough, with some predictable but captivating 80"s/90"s mob-movie cinematographic cliches (some examples below) that look good on a 4k telly.
It was enough to see me about half an hour of watching this through, when I felt the urge to play with my phone.
Three quarters of an hour, or so, in, I discovered myself playing online chess against a friend. I think it around then I realised I had forgotten the movie was on, and I had no idea what was happening in it.
After chess, I put my phone down, tried to get roughly to where I last remembered being.
Managed about another half hour or so from that general area, before I went to make a cup of tea and forgot to go back.
I let The Irishman fairytale ramble on to an empty sofa for another hour or so before I switching off the Netflix app.
The next evening, refreshed, I was re-determined to watch the thing.
So I changed tack.
I decided to treat The Irishman like a mini TV series.
Every day, I vowed, I would try and get through a little bit of The Irishman at a time, and at some point, it would end - at least, I presume it ends at some point - and I would therefore have seen this thing in its entirety.
This didn"t work. Although I"d like to thank Netflix for the "continue watching from where you left off" function, which meant at least I was able to give it a good go.
I"ve no idea at what point I gave up on The Irishman, other than it was on the third day of trying to watch the damn thing.
The Irishman is the movie equivalent of a novel which nobody reads through to the end. The last half hour could be an episode of The Simpsons for all I care.
If there"s any kind of conclusion you can tell me or not as you please - I am incapable of giving a chuff.
The Irishman is a load of utter drivel with - spoiler alert - a storyline that becomes less and less credible as it goes along to as far as anyone can be bothered watching.
I"d be a more forgiving if this had been produced by a bunch of start-ups. If that were the case, I"d give it 6/10 stars for effort.
But it"s not. It"s a film produced by people who are normally top of their game who all had an off year, all at the same time, and all together.
But it doesn"t mean the team haven"t done excellent work in the past, and it doesn"t mean they can"t do again so in the future.
It was directed by the bloke most famous for The Godfather - and you probably know this, cos you"re on IMDb - and some of the bits I managed to get through did have flavourings of Casino.
But I reckon The Irishman copies the majority of its cliches from Goodfellas: The background narration the obvious main one, but also the sweeping location shots, side pans into street corner Italian restaurants, short clips of violence, newspaper clips, that sort of thing.
Oh yeah: and Deniro, and the bloke from "Stop, or My Mom Will Shoot.
There"s no Ray Liotta though. That guy would have made it a cliche.

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There"s quite a few nice old cars and trucks to look at, and they"ve done a great job of putting locations, although not the main actors, into period.
If all the scenes with dialogue and violence were cut, you would end up with a quite good two or three minutes of cinematography that could make a decent enough "retail mode" sequence for televisions in showrooms.
Another alternative use: one could switch off the picture and get on with stuff around the house. Deniro will chat on in the background like a warm, familiar, permanent companion. It would actually be like being in the old folk"s home with him. That could be quite nice.
But as a film, nah.
Those who lamented this movie not coming out on the big screen had evidently not attempted to see the thing before making comment.
Cinemas dodged a bullet by missing out on The Irishman. Had they screened it, the future of the industry would have been at stake.

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